


atlas in my hands

by klarriel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Domestic, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Blind Dean, Cancer, Complete, DeanCas - Freeform, Demon Dean Winchester, Destiel - Freeform, Fluff, Helpful Gabriel, Kid Fic, M/M, Oneshot, Parallel Universes, Teacher-Student Relationship, basically loads of au's in one fanfic, its da bomb i promise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-21
Updated: 2014-03-21
Packaged: 2018-01-16 12:28:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1347472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/klarriel/pseuds/klarriel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel turns around to place the book back on its shelf, and Gabriel is standing in front of him.</p><p>“Gabriel?” </p><p>“Help them.” he says, and suddenly a bright white light fills the room, “And stay out of trouble.”</p><p>In which Castiel is sent on a journey of self discovery.</p>
            </blockquote>





	atlas in my hands

Castiel is sitting in the library in the bunker. He is reading the fourth chapter of ‘ _A Guide To Common Herbal Remedies”_ which provides a fascinating insight into the use of plants to treat wounds, when Dean walks in. “Hey Cas, me and Sammy are going on a beer run, wanna’ come?” he asks, peering round the doorway.

Castiel looks up from his book. He gives Dean a small smile.

“No, thank you Dean, I should be leaving anyway.”

Dean frowns.

“You gotta’ go? What, you sick of us already?”

Castiel chuckles, shaking his head. He rises from his seat, picking the book up with him.

“I would very much like to stay here, but….I have to search for the angels, reconcile those that have fallen. It is my duty. I am happy here with you and Sam, but…”  
  
“No, no, I get it Cas.” Dean says, giving a reassuring smile, “You gotta’ go do all that stuff.”

Dean nods, turning around, before stopping and turning back.

“You want some help?”

Castiel can sense the weight behind the words, but this is not how it should be.

“No, it’s alright Dean. This is my responsibility, not yours.”

Dean nods curtly, raising a hand in farewell, before walking out. He hears the front door close.

Castiel turns around to place the book back on its shelf, and Gabriel is standing in front of him.

“Gabriel?”

“Help them.” he says, and suddenly a bright white light fills the room, “And stay out of trouble.”

*

The bright light vanishes and Castiel finds himself standing in the middle of a strange building. He’s in a long hallway, with doors on either side. The walls are lines with metal cupboards of some kind, and there are various posters that have been stuck up that say things like ‘TIGERS VS SHARKS 9PM TUESDAY’ and ‘CASEY FOR PROM QUEEN’. Castiel hopes that with sufficient effort and support, Casey shall gain her place on the throne.

All of a sudden a piercing ringing erupts. Before he can cover his ears, all of the doors swing open and a cascade of people rush out, the once empty hallways now bustling with noise and colour. Two girls in matching clothing and high ponytails saunter down the hallway, and he sees one boy getting shoved into the metal boxes. Castiel realises, from his numerous conversations with Sam and Dean, that this is ‘high school’.

Castiel moves to a small alcove, where he can watch his surroundings but remains fairly unnoticed. He turns his head, and sees him, the red of his sports uniform making him stand out from the sea of adolescents. Perhaps slightly shorter and of a smaller build, and a face that Cas estimates to be no older than sixteen, but it is him.

He paces towards him, calling out his name. Dean looks up, seeming to scan the crows for a familiar face that is searching for him. His eyes lock on Cas’, and for a moment he believes that Dean recognizes him, but he simply makes a face that looks like he is slightly disturbed by Castiel’s attention, and whispers something to his friend, both of them glancing at Cas before they continue with their conversation.

This Dean does not know him. Castiel has sent him to some alternate realm where Dean has no knowledge of his existence. That pains him a little bit.

As they continue walking, Castiel notices someone else. A boy with thick rimmed glasses and messy brown hair, clutching a large pile of books. A boy with a tan trenchcoat.

This can’t be real.

The boy is him.

Or…at least Jimmy Novak.  But this was Gabriel’s trick, and the only logical explanation would be that this was indeed him.

Dean continues walking in Castiel’s – _OtherCas’ –_ direction, but makes no indication of noticing him. Castiel tries to use his grace to do _something_ but it’s no use, whilst he is under Gabriel’s powers the archangel has stopped him using his.

Quickly, just as Dean is passing OtherCas, Castiel grabs an object out of a nearby student’s hands – _‘Hey man, that’s my lunch’ –_ and tosses it towards OtherCas, knocking over the books, sending them spilling across the hallway.

Dean stops and turns, and Castiel follows his gaze. OtherCas stoops down to pick the books up off the floor, and Dean follows, helping him. As they stand, Dean hands the books to the boy, mumbling his apologies, and looks up at OtherCas. There is a moment of silence between them, as they both take in each other. Dean’s mouth curves into a small smile. His team-mates call for him, and he turns to them, nodding, before looking back at OtherCas.

“I….I’m sorry.” He says, “About your books.”

“It wasn’t you, just some idiot who decided that they needed to mess up someone else’s day.”

“Winchester! Let’s go!”

“Alright, alright.” Dean says, annoyed, glancing at his teammates, “Listen, what’s your name?”

“I….I’m Castiel.”

“Castiel? That’s a cool name. _Kinda’ weird….._ but I dig it” Dean smiles, and so does OtherCas, “I’m Dean." "I know who you are." OtherCas laughs softly, causing Dean to smile. " See ya’ round Cas.”

He turns and rejoins his teammates, all of them jogging down the hallway. At the last minute, Dean steals a glance at OtherCas, laughing slightly before continuing.

The bright light returns, sending Castiel on his journey.

*  
Castiel lands on a hard floor. He despises Gabriel, and as he stands up he promises that when he tells Dean and Sam about his he’ll-

That stench.

Standing up quickly, he surveys his surroundings, drawing his angel blade from inside his sleeve: he’s not in the bunker, but he could have guessed that instantly due to the demon presence.

He’s….

In an alleyway?

Cas has little time to be confused, because suddenly someone shouts from further down the alleyway, and he knows. It’s Dean.

He races in the direction of the shout, and finds Dean, Sam, and OtherCas in a  fight with four demons. Crouching behind a metal skip, he surverys his surroundings; Sam is handling one on his own, as is Dean, but OtherCas is pressed up to the other side of the skip, cornered by one demon with another fast approaching.. He knows Gabriel said to help In the most indirect way possible, but he’s pretty sure _saving his counterparts life_ is a necessary step to complete his ‘mission’. He steps out, racing to OtherCas and smashing the blade through the demons throat. OtherCas is stunned, and only glances in Castiel’s direction for a moment, nodding a sincere but confused _thank you_ before advancing on the fourth demon.

He’s just about to step out when he notices Dean kick hard at his demons stomach, causing it to fall back. And then Cas sees it.

Dean’s eyes flicker to black, and he smiles.

Cas is going to be sick.

Dean turns to OtherCas, and _no no no this can’t be happening._

Dean pulls out his knife, and Castiel can’t watch, knows where this is leading. He watches as he walks up to Castiel, who is slowly having to back down once again. Castiel notices a stray angel blade on the floor, obviously OtherCas’, and is about to throw it to him, when-

Dean stabs the demon in the back, a flicker of orange light is emitted from its body before it falls to the ground.

‘Nobody touches my stuff.” Dean growls. He looks up at OtherCas, and his eyes change back to their familiar green.

“You okay?” he asks, and Cas cannot believe this.

Dean turns to Sam and throws him the knife. Sam catches in and stabs his demon in one swift motion, stopping for a moment to catch his breath. Dean looks back at OtherCas, who nods, stepping quickly over the demon and embracing Dean.

“Damn son of a bitch doesn’t know when to keep his hands to himself.” Dean spits, although Cas can hear the humour in his voice. OtherCas chuckles.

“Thank you Dean.” He says softly, his hand clenching a fistful of Dean’s jacket. Dean gently places his hand on Castiel’s back, and they stay like that for a moment, before Dean pulls away.

“Sometimes I regret turning good for you, I was more badass when I was an evil demon.”

OtherCas shakes his head fondly, and they head over to Sam.

Castiel can’t believe it. Dean? A _demon_? And one who seems to be willing to kill other demons for the same cause as Sam and Castiel (which Castiel presumes is a good cause)?

And all of this, it seems, for him.

He thinks of this as the light swallows his surroundings until there is nothing left.

*

When the light fades, he finds himself in a room unfamiliar to him. It reminds him of Bobby’s house, but looking at the furniture and decoration he can see that it isn’t.

“Cas, that you?”

He looks around until he freezes. Dean is sitting on a couch behind him. He looks a bit younger than his Dean, but there’s something strange about him. And he was sure that Dean had expressed his distaste for people who wear sunglasses indoors. And then it hits him.

“Sorry, I was just checking on dinner,” OtherCas says, walking into the room, and sitting down next to Dean, “and then Sam called, him, Jess and Bailey will be here in half an hour.”

Dean nods, smiling softly, and grasps OtherCas’ hand.

 “Wish I could see that little girl.” He says, his voice raw.

OtherCas’ breath hitches and he pulls away.

“No, no, I didn’t mean-“

“I know, Dean, I know. “ OtherCas replies, his voice laced with pain, “It still hurts me every day. I can’t even heal you because they’re just gone. You were perfect. And I broke you. “

“No, Cas. Don’t you ever think like that for a second.” Dean turns to OtherCas, “You _brought me back to life!_ I’d say me not being able to see is a pretty good price to pay to be alive again!”

OtherCas nods. Dean cups his jaw with both hands.

“Besides,” he says softly, “I still remember what you look like”

Slowly, and tenderly, he traces his thumbs over OtherCas’ face. OtherCas’ eyes flutter closed ay the touch.

“Your eyes. Your nose. Your cheeks.” Dean whispers, touching each as he speaks their name, “Your lips.”

And all at once their lips connect, so temderly and lovingly that Castiel can’t help but look away, partly because he feels as though he is intruding on a private moment, and partly to try and stop himself from wanting it for himself.

Gabriel appears beside him, and its obvious that he has hidden himself from their sight.

“You getting it yet?”

Castiel scowls at the angel.

“Why?”

“All in good time, Castiel.”

He doesn’t need to help them in this world; they have found each other all on their own.

The light appears, and the last thing he sees is the smile on OtherCas’ face, and the way his eyes look like they’re taking in his whole world.

“

Castiel is in a cul-de-sac, rows of houses stretching for miles. Turning around, he notices that He is standing in front of a fairly large house, with a red letterbox with the words ‘ _The Winchesters’_ written on it.

‘Mom!’ A small boy shouts, running out of the house, and Castiel assumes this is Dean. A blonde woman follows him, and Castiel’s heart swells when he realises that this is Mary Winchester. He is happy that, in some worlds, Sam and Dean were able to have the family they always wanted. “Are they here yet?”

“I don’t think so sweetie.” Mary says, before looking at Castiel, “Can I help you sir?”

“Um, no, sorry, thank you” he says, and hurries down the street, glancing back every now and again. When they both go inside, he makes his way back towards their home and hides behind the neighbouring house. It’s been ten minutes, and Castiel’s not really sure why he’s been sent here, when he sees a minivan, and a large lorry, with the slogan ‘MOVE RITE’  adorned on the side, park outside the house he is hiding behind. Slowly, he sees a man, woman, and four children step out. Castiel scans over the family and, yes, the youngest child is wearing his tan trenchcoat.

He spots Dean racing on to his porch. Dean stops for a minute, surveying the newcomers, before racing over to them. Castiel is almost about to decipher where exactly OtherCas has gone when he hears a small voice beside him.

“Why are you hiding?”

Cas jumps, and looks towards the source of the voice, finding himself staring at OtherCas, a child slightly smaller than Dean, clutching a unicorn toy.

“I, um…….Why are you hiding?” he says, and _he’s really getting the hang of these human linguistic skills_

“I don’t wanna’ be with my family, everyone’s too noisy.” OtherCas replies, and Castiel can’t help but feel sorry for him.

“Well, why not go and talk to your neighbour?” Castiel says, and peeks round the side of the house, pointing to Dean, “He looks like a nice child.”

OtherCas shakes his head

“I don’t really talk to new people. My mummy, she doesn’t like it-“

“Well you know what?” Castiel says, placing a hand on his younger self’s arm, “I have found that sometimes, it is better to disobey those who try to govern over you. I see no harm in making a friend in that boy.”

OtherCas nods slowly, before turning around and marching determinedly towards Dean. As he gets closer, Castiel notices his speed falters, but he perseveres on. His mother - who Castiel now sees is _Naomi? -_ is talking to Dean, the expression on her face one of masked disgust at such an _uncultured, underprivileged and unruly boy_ , and it takes everything he has not to march up to her and cast her away. As OtherCas makes his way towards them she realises his motive and tries to send Dean away, but she’s too late.

“Hello” OtherCas says, in a voice that is slightly louder than needed.

Dean turns around, notices OtherCas, and _beams._

 _“_ Hi!” he says, “I’m Dean.”

“I’m Castiel”

“Ca-sti-el?” Dean says, his four-year-old tongue stumbling over the syllables, “ That’s kinda hard, so I’ll just call you….Cas?”

“I would like that very much.” OtherCas says

“Listen, _Dean,_ Castiel really needs to-“

“Do you like drawing?” OtherCas says determinedly

“I love it.” Dean confesses, and soon they’re running into the Winchester house, eager to create their masterpieces.

As the light returns, Castiel is sure that they are safe together in this world

*

Castiel has been here before.

A hospital.

The doctors and nurses hustle by him, quickly making their way to wherever they need to be.

“Can I help you sir?”  Someone asks, and he turns to see a woman at a desk, looking up at him.

“Yes, um, I’m here to see my….brother?”

 She raises an eyebrow, seemingly unconvinced.

“Name?”

“Dean Winchester?” he tries.

Her eyes light up

“Oh, you’re here to see Dean.” She says, smiling, “I mean, Cas is in with him right now but I’m sure the two of them won’t mind.”

She points him in the right direction, and he slowly makes his way down the hallway. He wonders what’s wrong with Dean, why this is a particular universe that Gabriel wants him to visit. A common injury doesn’t seem to be that drastic of a change.

He passes by a trolley, with a stack of patient folders on top. He glances at them, merely out of curiosity, and his heart stops.

He picks the top one up, looking at all of them, and _no, no, this isn’t right_.

They all have cancer.

He comes to the last one.

It’s Deans.

He has leukaemia.

Cas feels sick.

He hears his own voice coming from two doors down, the room he was told Dean was in. Slowly, he makes his way to the door, and sees Dean, who appears to be only 16 or 17, lying in bed, looking so much more thin and pale than his Dean. OtherCas is sitting in a chair next to the bed, facing Dean, reading out from a book that Castiel does not know the name of, but he likes the sound of. Dean is watching OtherCas, a soft smile on his face, his eyes never leaving him for a second. Castiel wonders what it would be like if Dean looked at him like that.

“He’ll be fine” Gabriel says, appearing beside him, “Ever since this Castiel started coming in and reading books to him he’s been on the path to recovery, in a couple of months he’ll be in remission.”

Castiel could not comprehend how relieved he was.

“This one wasn’t really part of the mission,” Gabriel continued, “Just a confirmation of sorts.”

Before Castiel can clarify what _exactly_ he meant by that, he’s gone, and the light’s returning.

*

 Gabriel has sent him to a school. Again.

Castiel is confused.

 This time, however, he’s appeared outside the building, directly outside a window that’s been opened at the top, and yes, this is definitely a hint.

He peers inside, listening intently to what’s going on.

OtherCas is the teacher.

Ah, so they both work at a school. This seems like it will be slightly less downtrodden than some of the universes before him.

The bell rings, and the students dispel from the classroom. Castiel is beginning to wonder when Dean will appear when, instead of walking out, the last student closes the door and turns around, and _dearfatherforgivemeforihavesinned._

_It’s Dean._

“Um….Sir?” He says, and inside Castiel is internally screaming

“Ah Dean, how can I help you?”

“Well, I was kind of stuck on…”

Castiel doesn’t really listen to the rest of the conversation because all he’s thinking is how horrible this is and how he is definitely going to Hell even though _yes, Dean is very attractive._

When he finally calms down, and looks back inside, Dean is gone.

Confused, Castiel turns and makes his way round to the other side of the building, when suddenly he bumps into someone.

“Hey, sorry I – Mr. Smith?”

Castiel’s eyes grow wide. Oh dear.

“Um yes…..Hello Dean”

“How did you….?” He says, looking behind him then back at Cas, “How did you get out before me? And are you wearing different clothes?”

“I …. enjoy changing oufits” Castiel can’t believe this, “And…I….took the back door?”

Dean’s eyes widen. Castiel’s eyes widen.

“I did not mean that in any sexual manner.” Castiel says hurriedly.

 “Um yeah, of course.” Dean says, his cheeks flushing, and this situation is turning into a very awkward one.

Before he can walk away, Castiel grabs onto hjs arm. Dean stiffens at the contact, turning towards him.

“May I ask Dean, how old are you?”

“17….. and 10 months.” Dean says, swallowing thickly, “Sir.”

Castiel nods.

“Listen Dean, I want you to know that…..Whatever feelings you may have for me, I….I appreciate them wholeheartedly, and….”

“Sir, I… I don’t know what you- Has Sam been saying something? I –“

“Your emotions are nothing to be ashamed of, Dean.” Castiel says, dropping his arm, and smiling slightly, “I too have very strong feelings for you, but I cannot act on them because of your age. I would never want to take advantage of you. When you have left your education, then… we may establish a relationship”

Dean’ eyes widen and he nods, never taking his gaze off Castiel for a moment.

“Now, I may not remember this conversation, however,” Castiel says, and looks right into Dean’s eyes, “don’t give up on me.”

Dean nods, smiling slightly, and Cas drops his arm, allowing Dean to continue on his journey to his car.

Gabriel starts to laugh.

“I hate you.”

The light consumes him once more.

*

He lands in a house, very similar to the one in the universe in which Dean was blind. Looking around, there are photographs on the walls of him and Dean, Sam, Bobby and people he has never met but is sure are excellent company.

He hears footsteps, and before he can disappear a young girl, no older than 11 or 12, is bounding towards him

“Hey Papa” she says, smiling, “I thought you had to go out?”

_Papa_

“I…..”

“Cas? That you?” he hears, and now Dean is making his way over, eyes bright. He plants a kiss on Cas’ cheek and ruffles the girls hair, “Thought you were going to the store?”

Castiel looks from Dean to his _daughter. Their daughter._

“Yes. I….. I’ll  go out now.”

“Alright.” Dean says, smiling, turning to the girl, “Okay Mary, you go get done with your homework and then when Cas gets back we can get you to Ellen’s.”

“But Da-a-ad” the girl moans, “I’m old enough now, can’t I come with you?”

“Nuh-uh, you’re still too young.” He says, and points in the direction that Castiel assumes is her bedroom, “Now go.”

She sighs, but obliges, muttering a ‘See ya later Pa’” before stomping to her room and closing the door.

“Sometimes it would be nice for a little thanks from her,” Dean mutters, although Cas can hear his smile. Dean continues, raising his voice, “You know, after saving her life, adopting her and raising her as our own.”

“Shut up Dad!” Cas hears, and he can’t help but smile because this….this is his _family._

“Before I go….We’re…..We’re going on a hunt when I get back, right?” Cas asks, because despite his utter bewilderment at this situation _,_ he needs to make sure he’s doing what he loves.

Dean’s cocks an eyebrow

“Course we are.” He says, “We said yesterday we were gonna’ go check out that creepy house, remember?”

“Oh yes, yes, sorry, I forgot.” He says

Dean laughs softly, shaking his head.

“Listen, I wanted to talk to you…about what Zachariah said, with you giving up your grace and all.”

Cas freezes

“I don’t want you to give up something that’s a part of you. We can be together as long as I’m alive, and then when I die, you can put a good word in with your old man, and I’ll see you in Heaven, I’m sure-“

“No.” Cas says, raising his hand and clutching Dean’s arm, “I want to have a human life with you. I want to grow old with you and die with you.”

Dean nods.

“I want that too.” He says softly

Cas smiles at him and places their foreheads together, his eyes fluttering shut. They stay like that for a few moments. All Castiel wants to do is kiss him, but it doesn’t feel right when it’s not _his_ Dean. In a short while this Dean’s Castiel will return, the true owner of his heart.

“I will see you later Dean.” He says, smiling and walking away.

Dean grins, his eyes warm.

“See ya’ later Cas.” He says, turning to resume whatever he had been doing before Cas had arrived.

Castiel knows that this won’t be quite true, that it will be another Castiel he sees later, who has already confessed the love that Castiel knows will have been burning deep inside him for a long time before it had been admitted.

He makes it to the road.

“So do you finally understand?”

Castiel looks round, and Gabriel is leaning against a tree, smirking.

Castiel nods.

“You have proven to me my own feelings for Dean.” Castiel says, and his breath catches in his throat because _finally. Finally_ he has allowed himself to admit it. For so long it has been burning within him, almost from the first moment he met Dean, the bond he has felt with him has been more than simply profound, “However, I am sure he will not recip-“

“SERIOUSLY CASTIEL?!”

Castiel stepped back in surprise.

“The whole point of this,” Gabriel spat, exasperated, “Was to show you how much you’re both obsessed with each other.”

Castiel’s eyes furrowed, confused.

 “Jeez, you know I thought you were smarter th-“

“But what if _my Dean_ doesn’t love me?” he says quietly, “What if…..in our universe….we are just meant to be good friends? Dean has made no indication of having any romantic feelings towards me whatsoever”

“I only showed you a snapshot of the universes that contain both you and Dean.”  Gabriel explained, walking towards Cas, “And in each and every single one, you and Dean found your way to each other. It didn’t matter if you were old, young, sick, male, female, _none of it mattered_. One way or another, you two found each other.”

Castiel is surprised to say the least.

“You have come to learn that you can choose your destiny,” Gabriel continues, “But sometimes there are things that, despite the circumstances, shall come to pass. And you and Dean? You’re one of them. All you need is a little push in the right direction, and in this world, that’s from me.”

And finally, Castiel understands.

*

Castiel lands with a thud. He sits up quickly, ready for what awaits, and he finds himself in the bunker again. Looking around he notices a chair that has been pulled away from the table, a book lying half open on the floor.

He’s back.

Cas jumps up from his position on the floor and races to the window. The Impala is still there, Dean and Sam haven’t left yet. He strides over to the door and yanks it open, only to find Dean standing there, facing him. Castiel stops, noticing the look of surprise on Dean’s face, before it softens to _something else_ , something he doesn’t recognise

“Dean, I –“

“ _Stay_.” Dean pleads, his voice breaking,

Castiel smiles.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic for this fandom, and it's basically a hot mess of loads of different au's. Hope you enjoy it, feedback is always appreciated!
> 
> Hope you're having a great day :)
> 
> (also warning, this is unbeta'd so i'm sorry for any spelling/grammatical errors)
> 
> Title taken from 'Atlas Hands' by Benjamin Francis Leftwich
> 
> EDIT: there was a bunch of errors in this but hopefully i've fixed them all!


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